


The Graham Norton Christmas Special - Snily vs Risky

by YouBlitheringIdiot



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Celebrity AU, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Graham Norton Show - Freeform, Jily Fluff, Jily not Snily, Marauders AU, jily, jily au, jily celebrities, wingman sirius
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:33:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28260951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouBlitheringIdiot/pseuds/YouBlitheringIdiot
Summary: The last thing James Potter (lead singer of popular band Risky) is expecting tonight, of all nights, is to bump into his ex-girlfriend Lily Evans (recently turned solo after her equally popular band Snily split up)...
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 30
Kudos: 34
Collections: Potterverse Gift Exchange





	The Graham Norton Christmas Special - Snily vs Risky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chie (Chierafied)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chierafied/gifts).



> to Chie - I hope you enjoy this, I stuck to your prompt of celebrities and Graham Norton xxx

**The Graham Norton Christmas Special - Snily vs Risky**

“Absolutely, Graham, that’s what I mean,” Sirius Black, lead guitarist of Risky says.

“Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, ‘You do realise this is a gay club, don’t you lads?’ you get all excited because you think, ‘Wow, he thought I was straight!'”* Graham Norton replies.

“Ridiculous,” Sirius Black nods, rolling his eyes.

“And speaking of straight guys - James Potter, do you have any exciting news for me?” Graham Norton asks, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“I wish,” James laughs. “well, aside from our publicity tour, which is why you have us both here on the show.”

“Of course,” Graham says. “Your new album _Invisibility_ is selling well isn’t it?”

“Pretty well,” James concedes.

“Bit of an understatement! And there was I thinking you’d be a big-headed git about your popularity, James,” Graham chuckles. "It's head to head with Lily Evans for the number one spot this Christmas!" 

“He’s just pretending not to care, his head has exploded in girth,” says Sirius Black.

“Of course, you must all be taking this very seriously,” Graham says.

Sirius winks at him.

“Obviously,” he says.

James shakes his head.

“Remind me who used to call him a big-headed git on a regular basis, Sirius?” Graham says.

“Lily Evans?” Sirius says, with a lurid grin at the cameras.

“Ah yes! Lily Evans, your ex-girlfriend,” says Graham blinking innocently. “Have you lot met each other recently?”

“No,” scoffs James, gulping down the remains of his champagne.

“Oh, goodie, because she’s here today to promote her first solo album _, Tainted Blood,”_ he smirks at James. “Ladies and Gentlemen, give a big round of applause for the inimitable Lily Evans!”

James inhales some of his drink and ends up practically choking, as Lily Evans enters the stage, accompanied by excited screams and roaring applause from the audience.

“They never fucking warned us about this?” James glares at his friend, under cover of the noisy hullabaloo.

“They may have,” Sirius says casually, smiling sweetly at the crowd.

“What?” James stares.

“I may have forgotten to tell you. Minor slip-up.”

“Minor slip-up?” James hisses at Sirius furiously. “Minor fucking slip-up?”

Sirius shrugs and stands up, pulling Lily Evans into a warm, friendly hug.

“Evans!” he grins. “Long time no see!”

“Black,” she says, with a slight shake of her head as though she’s expecting trouble.

James grits his teeth and stands too, keeping his hands in his pockets.

“Evans,” he says, with a fake smile.

“Potter,” she says, without bothering.

“Lovely, such _lovely_ guests tonight,” Graham says, looking like the cat who got the cream.

James stretches his lips in what he hopes is a smile, but could probably be best described as a scowl.

“So, Lily, do tell, how is life treating you since your band _Snily_ split up, with Severus going-” Graham asks, all jolly and conversational.

“Ugh!” James mutters under his breath.

Unfortunately for him, his microphone picks it up, and Lily Evans turns her emerald eyes towards him and gives him one of her eviscerating glares.

“It’s been splendid actually,” she says, turning back to Graham and smiling brightly, with a toss of her silky, auburn hair.

“I’m sure you don’t want to talk about why you and Severus decided to part ways, but,” Graham Norton says sipping his champagne and raising his brows.

“Of course she doesn’t, but we’re all dying to find out, Evans,” Sirius grins at her.

Lily Evans shifts position, looking uncomfortable.

“Oh God!” James mutters to himself. “Leave her alone!”

Once again, his infernal mic, which he resolves to pull off and throw at the audience, picks up his entire sentence. He blushes profusely and his hand flies to his hair.

“Er, sorry,” he says.

“Not at all,” Lily’s tone of voice has softened considerably.

“Anyway, ask her about her new album,” James says to, or rather orders, Mr. Norton.

“It’s alright, James,” she sighs, taking a long sip of her drink and squaring her shoulders. “It wasn’t just the artistic differences. We disagreed about everything – his pro-Trump leanings, his White Lives Matter bullshit…”

“Damn right!” James says, looking at her with shining eyes, swimming in admiration.

“He didn’t like it, we fought, I refused to continue collaborating with him. He writes good music, and I hope he’s… well, that’s all I’m saying.”

A round of spontaneous applause from the audience.

“So, any songs you’re particularly proud of in your new album?” Graham asks politely.

“Well, a few of them are pretty catchy,” Lily begins.

“Bollocks,” says James, folding his arms.

“Excuse me?” and if looks could kill he would be stone dead.

“A few? They’re all bloody brilliant, Evans, and you know it! _Charm_ is the catchiest thing I’ve heard in years, _Francis_ is a quiet masterpiece, _Hollow_ has lyrics to die for, _You’ll be the Death of Me_ is so damned emotional _,_ I just…” he stops, looking at his hands in embarrassment.

“I didn’t know you were such an avid fan of Lily Evans?” Graham says, eyes wide in faux shock. "It was always Snily vs Risky for all the awards, everyone always thought the two bands hated each other's style."

“Of course I'm a fan, she’s stunning… stunningly good,” James winces as he immediately jumps to correct himself.

Sirius Black and Graham Norton look like they’re trying not to laugh.

“Thank you, James, that means a lot,” Lily says, impulsively she puts out her hand and squeezes his knee.

A few “oohs” and “aahhhs” in the audience and a few giggles.

“It’s true,” James grins back at her.

He looks so well in the studio lights, his messy bed-head looks so hot, and his hazel eyes flash with mischief and his tanned skin glows as she praises him. She can’t seem to stop smiling at him.

“I thought you hated me,” she laughs lightly, her eyes look straight at him, mesmerise him.

“Nah, he didn’t,” Sirius Black scoffs, leaning back as though enjoying the show.

“Quite the opposite,” James’ low voice hums in reply.

Her hand fiddles with the now empty flute glass, hand coming up to play with her earring and tuck a stray tendril behind her ears.

“Then why were you always so…” she says quietly.

It’s as though they are the only two people in the room.

“Such a bastard?” James says. “I was in love with you, and you hated me. I was a passing fling, for the publicity.”

“What?” she says, mouth hanging open.

“Nah, she didn’t,” Graham Norton is grinning again and winks at the audience.

Shrieks of laughter and giggles erupt in the crowd.

“Of course I didn’t,” Lily Evans scoffs, folding her arms over her crimson velvet chest. “You were too cocky for your own good and you were an ars- BLEEP to Snape, but I never hated you.”

“You didn’t?” James is looking at her intently, leaning towards her so they are practically touching.

“Never,” she demurs. “I was obsessed with you.”

James Potter swallows hard and looks to his friend Sirius for help. The bastard shrugs and places his arms around the couch, as though he is merely a spectator here.

“Really?” he croaks.

“Who did you think _Bed Head_ was about, Potter?” she says, her green eyes twinkling.

He clears his throat and tries to answer.

“Eh… er…”

“Yeah, you,” she flashes him a flirty smile.

“Uncommonly Kind…” he says, his voice is so low she has to lean in to hear him.

“Sorry?” she says.

“ _Uncommonly Kind_ , our number one hit?”

“Yeah, I know it,” she laughs. “What about it.”

“It’s about you. It’s about how none of us deserved you, well, especially me, and…” he stops, as though suddenly realising they are on TV.

She looks genuinely surprised. Her eyes fill up a little and she swipes at them with her hand and laughs, her cheeks a warm rose.

”Don’t be silly, Potter, you didn’t deserve the abuse Snape hurled at you,” she sniffs.

“At me? The bas-BLEEP was entirely out of line when he came out with all that xenophobia about your parents being immigrants, the fu-BLEEP bast-BLEEP!” James says, eyes narrowed. “I deserved all the shit he threw at me, if I’m honest. So did Sirius.”

Sirius’ face take on a horrified look, making it clear he couldn’t disagree more, but he holds his tongue.

“No you didn’t!” Lily says. “I should have realised half the rubbish he said about you was fake,” she says. “Sorry, Graham, I hope this doesn’t get you in trouble with the lawyers!”

Graham Norton laughs, he doesn’t give a toss about such mundane things as lawsuits.

“I was in love with you, I should have been better,” James says. “I was so smitten I…”

Lily Evans gets up and stands glued to the spot.

“I’m still in love with you, James, I’m sorry I didn’t-“ she whispers.

“BLEEP-ing hell, Evans,” James stares up at her in astonishment, before flying to his feet.

He walks over to her.

“I love you, Evans,” he says softly.

A gigantic bunch of mistletoe appears out of nowhere, dropped down from the ceiling. They don’t notice. The crowds scream and giggle.

“I know, Potter,” she says, burying her hands in his hair and pulling him in for a kiss.

He holds onto the back of her neck and kisses her soundly, until they pull apart and she can’t seem to breathe.

“I’m never letting you go, ever again, Evans,” his husky voice whispers in her ear.

“I wouldn’t let you, Potter, I’m yours,” she answers back, grabbing a hold of his bright red tie and pressing their lips together again.

The audience has gone wild, screaming and clapping and whistling and stamping their feet in approval.

Sirius Black and Graham Norton share a smug look and clink their champagne glasses.

"Happy Christmas, Evans."

"Looks like a Happier New Year, Potter."

* real quote from Graham Norton.

**Author's Note:**

> To a Much, Much Happier New Year for all of us xoxoxo


End file.
